Monday, December 18, 2006

Breaking News in Fantasy Football

No prizes for these Trophy Wives
Buckhead loses to East Atlanta; Playoffs continue into Round 2

ATLANTA, GA - Tuesday December 18, 2006 – The Buckhead Trophy Wives held a press conference at ESPN Zone late Monday night, following a Round 1 playoff loss to East Atlanta Scallywags in the Texas Sucks Championship Bracket.

“It’s a tough loss, no doubt about it,” said Trophy Wives’ triple-threat coach/owner/manager “CK," who kept a low profile most of the season. “Scallywags are tough. We were ready for whatever happened.”

The Trophy Wives led the league early into the season, opening with a 4-0 record. But the second half of the season was plagued by injuries and inconsistent performances from key offensive players. “When Adam [Vinateri] got hurt, and Donovan [McNabb] went out with a torn ACL, we knew we were in trouble,” said CK. That same week, wide receiver Antonio Bryant was arrested and backup quarterback Mark Brunell ended his NFL career, leaving the Trophy Wives without many options. They did, however, pick up Brunell’s replacement, Jason Campbell, who stepped it up for the last games of the season. “It was a band aid when we really needed some stitches,” CK added.

Many teams in Texas Sucks questioned the Trophy Wives’ staying power, citing luck as their strategy. Two consecutive losses to Mancha La Manchas added fuel to the fire. “We tried not to pay attention to that crazy talk,” said Campbell. “I think [Texas Sucks] was just frustrated they were losing to a girl."

With their playoff loss to the Scallywags, the Trophy Wives move into the consolation bracket, where they will face the Peachtree Platypuses. “We’re not scared,” said running back Julius Jones. “They’re called the Platypuses. That says it all.”

The Trophy Wives extended good wishes towards the Scallywags at the press conference before heading into the ESPN Zone game room. “Someone has to beat the [computerized] Space Taker,” said Vinateri in between rounds of skee ball. “Our reputation as living, breathing, intelligent human beings is at stake.”

As for the future, the Trophy Wives are optimistic and ready for the next challenge. “We’ll focus on this next set of playoff games, then start regrouping for next year,” said CK for the Trophy Wives. “In the meantime, there’s always gold digging to do. And we’re pretty good at that.”

(Note: In case its not obvious and I get complaints from news sources or publicists, no, those NFL stars didn't really comment... cK)

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