Caren Explains: Escalator Etiquette

The British are good at many things, like tea, cricket and "football," for starters. When I was living in London I quickly learned that another thing the British have mastered is Escalator Etiquette. This is a foreign concept to most Americans, particularly those frequenting Atlanta Hartsfield Jackson International Airport.



What is Escalator Etiquette?

I don't know if there is a formal definition. Here's what I consider proper rules of the game, though, from my observations and experiences:

1) Stationary on the Right; Fast Movers on the Left

If you are not going to walk/run up or down the escalator, you should stand on the right side , leaving a left lane for people in a hurry. In actuality, hurrying up or down an escalator saves only seconds, not minutes, of your time, but sometimes that is the difference between catching and missing a train or subway car or airport shuttle, so clear the way. This rule applies to personal belongings, too... don't leave your things on the left... keep them close to your body and close to the right side of the escalator, or else I think it completely acceptable for someone to push them aside.

2) Leave one 'step' between you and the person in front of you

This seems simple enough. Personal space is a necessity. Don't crowd the person in front of you unless it is impossible to do so. You wouldn't want someone all up in your business, would you? Right? Right.

3) High-step it like a marching band.

Remember when your parents were very weary of taking you on an escalator because your kiddie shoelaces might get caught in the groves? Well, just because you've moved on to better shoes and better coordination skills doesn't mean you should forget these warnings. I saw someone fly off the end of an escalator the other day because she was dragging her feet. Don't go airborne: high-step it, people.

4) Don't take pictures from the top of the escalator.

I'm not sure why tourists like to take pictures of people coming up escalators, but it slows up traffic. If you're going to take a picture, take it while you're on the escalator, not when you're at the top, because then you're going to cause a bottleneck, and we all know that escalators wait for no one.

This is for the betterment of our society. Trust me.

CK

The Great Idea, the Bad Idea: The Universe Evens Itself Out

This is a three-party blog post which I typed throughout the day... enjoy.

The Great Idea came to be after all.

Saw The Shins… loved The Shins… did not love the 7am flight to NY… nor the 6pm flight back to Atlanta… nor the large man seated next to me who snored and couldn’t keep his hands to himself…

It’s 9:29am and I’m back at the airport. This will be my fourth flight and third airport in 36 hours. The Great Idea now seems like the Bad Idea.

I believe that what goes around comes around. So I figured that by doing my coworker Jason a favor (dropping him at North Terminal, though Leila and I were at South Terminal) I would earn some good karma. Wrong. Screw you, Karma… you and your empty promises.... I missed my flight to Houston. Did you know you have to check bags 45 minutes, not 30 minutes, before a flight? Leila and I both thought it was 30 minutes – her mom worked for Delta, for heavens sake… she should know.

Now, I am not a public crier… but I allowed myself a little breakdown today as the unhelpful man at the Delta kiosk smiled at my situation. Even crying couldn’t get my bag onto the flight. I cried while walking through the security line, too. Not for theatrics, but because I was genuinely upset. People looked at me with empathy, probably thinking I had just said goodbye to the love of my life. But truth be told, I just didn’t want to take off my shoes to go through another security line.

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It’s 2:22pm in Texas. I am in a car with Jason, Jared and Leila, driving from Houston airport to downtown Austin. Leila and I made it out of Atlanta just fine, only because we had hard drinks at Chili’s... at 10:05am... because they stopped serving breakfast at 10am and who wants a quesidilla at 10am without a margarita to compliment it?

We are now in the midst of what Jason would like to call “a satanic car wash.” There is so much rain against our windshield that we can’t see where the road stops and the shoulder starts. Thunder is cracking above our heads. The only sites we have seen so far are: an oil ranch, a Diesel factory, Chappell Hill Grille, and Rowdy’s Icehouse and Grill (Leila would go in and ask, “Who’s Rowdy??"... the crowd would say, "We're rowdy!!"). Deep in the heart of Texas, alright.

(PS – my colleagues Joe and Palmer also missed their flights because Delta wouldn’t let them check bags 30 minutes before departure… it’s a conspiracy, I tell you.)

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It's 1:36am. Why am I awake??? I'm not sure... maybe the adrenaline?... or new time zone?... regardless, it's time to put this relatively awful day behind me. Not to say it didn't have its strong points. I did get to see The Rapture again, and it was a cool cool show. Also got dinner with Palmer No. 2 and Andy's friends from Sewanee/Nashville. And my mom and dad were lovely and had "Congratulations!" wine and cheese delivered to our hotel room. (Thanks, Mom and Dad!)

But as a lesson for the day, I will say this: not all Great Ideas are Smart Ideas, but at least the Bad Ideas give us good stories to tell.

More from Austin, TX, tomorrow, including Peter Bjorn & John, GSD&M, Waterloo Records, and Shiner Bock... mmm, Shiner Bock...

CK

East Coast Tour, Part 2; Where Not to Fly

Tomorrow I will set off for the second round of my East Coast Tour 2006. This time I'll be heading to Philadelphia (for 15 minutes), Penn State (to see my lovely sister give her recital!), DC, and good ol' Maryland.

I am nervous about this tour, actually. The last time I flew into State College, PA, home to Penn State, was a bit of a disaster a la Delta.

When I booked the trip online, my itinerary showed just one stop in Cincinnati. No big deal. So I boarded my 8:00am flight in Atlanta and took off for Cincinnati... or should I say, "Cincinnati."



I fell asleep on the plane and woke up 2 hours later to hear the flight attendant say, "Welcome to Shreveport Regional Airport, where the local time is 9:05am."

Shreveport? Where is Shreveport? Wait, I studied this in my Southern politics class... Louisiana... that's not Ohio!

I asked the gentleman sitting next to me to confirm where we were. "Shreveport," he said. Duh. I pulled out the Delta Sky Magazine and flipped to the map. I was almost in Dallas!

Delta made me exit the plane so they could clean it. "But I'm continuing onto Cincinnati," I said.

"Please exit the plane, ma'am."

I'm a pretty patient person, but this -- not okay. I marched through the tiny terminal and approached the Delta ticketing counter. The line was too long, so I headed back towards the gate, not realizing that (in this tiny airport) I had walked out of the "Safe Zone." I had to go back through security, where I was subjected to the most tedious screening of my life. Shoes went through the XRay three times... belt went through twice... then, trouble....

"You don't have a ticket, ma'am. You can't come through here."

"Yes I do -- I was on that flight to Cincinnati and they made me get off the plane."

"Your ticket is for Cincinnati from Atlanta. You can't come through." I tried my Southern manners, and when that didn't work, my Yankee bitch attitude. That worked, after some phone calls were made. Finally got through and arrived in State College (via Cincinnati via Shreveport) at 5:00pm.

This time, I'm flying into Philly. Maybe the City of Brotherly Love will be more kind to me, even if I am a Redskins fan...