An Open Letter to Ray Ban: Sponsor Me

Dear Luxottica (owner of Ray Ban),

Audrey Hepburn did it in Rome. Tom Cruise did it (once, we think) in his underwear. Even Michael Jackson is guilty as charged.

Yes, there is no denying that by wearing Ray Ban sunglasses, these celebrities helped make Ray Ban an iconic brand. But as brand ambassadors, these celebrities -- especially the dead one -- are untouchable and irrelevant to your day-to-day consumers.

That's where I come in.

I'm a pretty cool gal, and for as long as I can remember I have only worn Aviator sunglasses. I wear them practically everywhere and for all occasions. Most people don't know that Ray Ban first brought this model to the market in 1937, but I do and I recognize you to be the market leader and authority when it comes to Aviators.

As a marketing executive, I also know that you're trying to bring the Wayfarer back, and that this push is taking up a lot of your marketing budget. I completely understand. Therefore I propose an inexpensive and effective initiative to keep you from neglecting your Avaiators:

Sponsor me.

That's right. Sponsor my life and all the things associated with it. Ray Ban will benefit from this sponsorship in the following ways:

1) Not to brag, but I am an effective guerilla marketing tool. I know a lot of important and influential people, even though they tend to have a hard time remembering me (Luke Wilson, I thought we were BFF??). Not a problem, though, because though I am hard to remember, I am ultimately impossible to forget. Consumers will never forget seeing Aviators on my smiling face. Come to think of it, maybe that's why they don't remember me when I'm not wearing the sunglasses... they don't recognize me! Which of course leads to one logical conclusion: I should never take them off. Wouldn't you like to sponsor someone who never takes of her Ray Ban Aviator sunglasses?

2) I am an accessible individual with a clean record. Unlike celebrities like Michael Jackson, I actually go out in public. Children and parents are not scared of me. I will reach your common, everyday consumer. I frequent Krogers, coffee shops, concert venues, international airports, and Brick Store Pub. I promise to tell everyone I know how much I like Ray Ban Aviator sunglasses.

3) I only take pictures in aviator sunglasses. Well, not always, but most of the time. Please see Blogger profile picture to the right, as well as this evidence:

In Italy...


...in Austria... no, Australia... er, actually the Zoo...


... and in Austin, with some flag-waving pirates... yarrrg!



The best part of all? This sponsorship comes with a pretty cheap pricetag. All I want is some free sunglasses and $5.75 for every hour that I wear your glasses. Need be, we can forgoe the hourly rate for a pair of Wayfarers.

My faux Aviators from the thrift store keep breaking and scratching, but I know that a pair of Ray Bans will hold up like none other (look at that -- I'm already telling people how good your product is!).

So in conclusion, cheap sponsorship = great every-day exposure.

I look forward to speaking with you about this initiative, and can be reached at CarenOnlyWearsAviators@gmail.com.

Sincerely,

Caren

PS -- It would also be a good idea to get me a bumper sticker that says "Sponsored by Ray Ban" so drivers know what's up. A t-shirt would be nice, too.