Excerpts from "A Southern Belle Primer"

My roommate/sorority sister and I would like to share these excerpts from A Southern Belle Primer.... They are clearly things that no one will teach you otherwise (best if said in a Southern accent).

- In Mississippi, one woman says there used to be a saying: "First there's Chi O, then you get married, then there's Junior League, then you die."

- It's considered bad luck for the real bride to walk down the aisle at rehearsal. We hear it's done sometimes by the girls in the North. But in the South, that's just tempting fate.

- Never date your sorority sister's ex-husband until at least three years after the divorce. You might need her to write your daughter a Kappa Kappa Gamma recommendation one day. Just remember it's a lot easier to find a enw man than it is to get your daughter into Kappa.

- Southerners don't just drink iced tea, they practically inhale it. They see no reason not to drink it when snow is on the ground. It's equally as appropriate in the middle of a heat wave. The drink is so much a part of the South that belles find it difficult to go to other parts of the country where they can't automatically order this staple in homes and restaurants.

- When a girl picks Grand Baroque [silver] at age eleven, she hasn't just decided how to set her table, she's charted her course in life. Just as Aquarians are not compatible with Capricorns, Grand Baroque girls are not to marry men whose mothers have chosen Rose Point [silver]. Their silver clashes and so will their personalities.

A is for Apartment: Ah fate... as you may or may not know, my new roommate, Allyson, and I were ISO an apartment... this morning, as I was leaving the apartment I currently dwell in, a matted Botticelli print fell off the wall and hit me on the head. Being that this was a possible place for us to rent an apartment in the future, I decided that this was a sign I should leave and never return, or at least until I found another place to live... and we did! We got the last apartment left at Highland Walk with a great deal, so look forward to dinner parties there in the future. Thanks for making that decision easy, Botticelli!

B is for Book: As is usual this summer, there was a thunderstorm and our lights went out... I was home alone and read my book by candlelight so I didn't go crazy. It was very nice and I thought, "Wow, this is what it must have been like in the old days...." Then I reached for my iPod.

C is for Concert: Speaking of music, last night was the Ten Out of Tenn Tour's stop in Atlanta... check these artists out or you'll be sorry... Tyler James (young singer with his Casio... if you like Ben Kweller or Chris Martin's voice, I bet you'll like Tyler), Disappointed by Candy (a bass/guitar player, kick-butt percussionist, and their Mac), Kate York (haunting voice backed by obvious talent), Griffin House (also touring with Amos Lee), Trent Dabbs (rockin' straight out of Nashville), and the Lonely Hearts (a lot of guys packing a lot of sound on a little stage).

D is for Darko: Went to a screening of the director's cut of Donnie Darko tonight in the Highlands... wow, what a great thoughtprovoker! I will never look at rabbits the same way again, nor Jake Gyllenhal for that matter, who I always discredited because he was Bubble Boy... this ends the summer streak of selecting awful movies (applause and cheering follow).

I Killed Anne Bancroft

So two weeks ago, Carlyn and I were reading an article about Angelina Jolie in the always entertaining and mindnumbing magazine In Style -- you know, the one featuring Katie Holmes as "Single in the City"? The one that was outdated before it hit the newsstands? Enough digression, I'll get to the crazy Cruise-to-be later... so In Style article on Angelina Jolie... looking through it, Carlyn proclaimed, "Angelina Jolie is going to be like Anne Bancroft when she's older." I asked, 'Who's Anne Bancroft again?' Carlyn explained in some detail, and we continued reading. I remarked that when I was younger I though the words to Mrs. Robinson were "She's a slut and more than you would know...." Thanks for confusing me with your character's sluttery, Anne Bancroft...

The next day, we woke up and turned on the news to find that Anne Bancroft was dead. "Oh my god, I killed Anne Bancroft!" Carlyn exclaimed. "How many times have you ever heard me talk about Anne Bancroft?!"

"Never."

"I know! I killed Anne Bancroft!"

Flash forward two weeks... we're looking up Calista Flockhart on IMDB to see what movie she was in with Cameron Diaz. "Is she still dating Harrison Ford?" Carlyn asks. "Geez! They've been dating for a long time! He's getting old!"

"Yes... and he has an earring... IMDB says they've been dating since 2002!" We agree that's weird. Ally McBeal and Indiana Jones... very weird.

This afternoon Carlyn announces she's done it again -- she's jinxed a celeb. "Guess who got engaged today?? Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford! As much as I talk about crazy Tom Cruise, you'd think something would happen to him, but no!"

Watch out, Tom... you're next. In the meantime, look out for the debut album from Carlyn's new band, I Killed Anne Bancroft.

Our life has consequences

Stretch before you start sprinting through the park.

That's all

Life Thus Far

Last night Carlyn and I went to see Grease in Piedmont Park. After belting out Ben Kweller songs on the way there, enjoying a bottle of Whole Foods wine on a blanket, we played a game of touch-football with the Carter Center guys, the QB at Grady, and little Solomon. We ran around barefoot through the grass until it got dark.

And then Carlyn said with a smile, "This is our life."

Cool.